Put your middle finger back where it belongs; directed toward the chaos and darkness

We might just be directing our frustration at the party in closest proximity. It makes our outrage simply an expulsion of rattling irritation and drains it of the values it purports to express.  It also generates a demand for an otherwise unnecessary apology. We are just adding to our list of hanging unfulfilled apologies and not actual lightening what is dark for us or calming what is chaos.  Those we love the most, or spend the most time with are incidentally in the path of our frustrated energy.

Here is what I mean, if you have a terrible drive home and there is inexplicable traffic, I do not care how evolved you are, humans are not meant to live bumper next to bumper for long stretches of time. I have heard yogis tell me that in their enlightened condition after class they are not subject to the vagaries of the common human. You don’t believe that, do you? You shouldn’t and I don’t.  You have created in your system the energy of driving properly and keeping the car and its passengers safe against the challenges of every other obstacle in a commute.  It is extra building energy in your system and it is not sweet loving energy.

When you arrive home or your destination, you may be able to hold onto it briefly,  but at some point that energy converts and releases.  This sounds like the description of another type of conversion we do that is more gastrointestinal.  But, it is like that.  It is more often than not directed at someone or thing completely unrelated to the source of your agitation.  I mean, we all get this.  There is just a time delay in our awareness.  I think we should figure out how to be more immediate.  We should let out in real time.  Don’t get out of the car.  Let anyone else out.  Sit quietly and let out what I would like to refer to as a the urban dwellers version of the primal scream.

Studies show that those who release in the form of cursing feel measurably better and sometimes show reduction in their level of pain on an objective scale.  This may mean that what we have termed bad words can take the charge of your anger and frustration and handle one for the family team.  I don’t think indiscriminate cursing is a great idea, but what about finely tuned, purposely generated and not specifically directed.  A curse at the air, if you will.  I say be creative with it also.  Use curse adjectives and really explicit modifiers before you get to the biggest baddest words.  These are words.  But they feel good and should not be leveled at people.  But, my dashboard has graciously accepted its role in my life.

You can choose quieter means, for sure, but I don’t think we should give ourselves too much credit.  We are capable of great deeds of injustice towards innocent parties who move into our line of site at the wrong moment.  What I am advocating for is clarity about that and quick and well, dirty option to clean up the remains of the day.  Busy times call for efficient measures.

So, redirect the middle finger to nothing in particular or let a full on expletive go into the void.  Then return to your regularly scheduled programming with love and a big sigh.

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